We all have blind spots…

Sometimes even what’s right in front of us can be so hard to see. Last week I was talking with a friend. I was asking for advice on how to deal with a family situation. I had been worrying and upset about it for weeks. I spent about twenty minutes getting all my frustrations out while my friend listened patiently. When I finally stopped venting, she looked at me dead in the eyes and said, “Did you tell them how you feel?” 

At that moment, I felt mad, silly, and relieved all at once. I had been stewing over this issue for so long! I was angry that my friend thought my problem was so easy to fix. In my head, I had built the issue up to be this giant beast. Surely, I didn’t waste all this time worrying over something so easily fixed, right? 

After I calmed down for a minute, I also felt silly that I didn’t see the solution myself. Once I thought about it, I saw that it did boil down to nothing more than a communication issue. And, of course, I was relieved that there actually might be a solution at hand.   

The truth is we all have blind spots. I don’t mean your eyeballs. I’m talking about how we may be sabotaging ourselves and not know that we are doing it. For me it came down to a simple conversation with a trusted friend. That my lesson, I have been repeating is that the people in my life are not mind readers. And if I don’t teach them how to treat me, that is to ask for what I need, they’re not the problem I AM!

In my last blog, I talked about being true to yourself in relationships. It’s essential to discover who you are before you can be someone else’s “better half.” 

Once you can fully embrace yourself – flaws and all – you can truly begin to build healthy relationships. Whether you ordered one of my relationship reports, or just sat down to do some personal reflection. I hope that you spent some time getting to know yourself.  

Bring awareness to how you react in certain situations. Start to take note of what you like and dislike from your partner. What positive and negative vibes do you bring into a relationship?   

This self-knowledge brings me to my next lesson – a lesson I was just recently reminded about. SHOW people how to best care for you.

No one is a mind reader. Not your significant other, not your kids, not your parents, not your friends. 

From now on…

  • If you need something, communicate it. 
  • If you don’t like something, don’t accept it. 
  • If you’re not feeling true to yourself, you need to stand up for yourself and let others know. 

If you don’t stand up for yourself and speak your truth, no one else will. 

If you’re stuck in a relationship feeling like you deserve more, stop accepting less. It’s that simple. 

People are lazy. I don’t say this to sound harsh, but it’s mostly true. People will give what is expected of them, in jobs and in relationships. If you’ve set the expectation that something is acceptable, then that’s usually what you’ll get. 

So, here’s how you change: speak your mind. 

If you were hoping for dinner and a movie on Valentine’s Day but didn’t even get a card, SAY SOMETHING. It doesn’t have to be a fight, but make it clear that next year, you expect more. Or set a date for a do-over this year and tell your partner what’s expected. 

There is so much anguish and unhappiness that could be fixed by clear communication. 

Some of you may already live this way, and I applaud you. Yay you! Keep up the great work. 

But for those of you that don’t, practice makes progress. It might be second nature just to accept what comes your way. Start by reflecting at the end of each day. Was there any time during the day that you accepted less? If the answer is yes, either fix it tomorrow by communicating your needs, or make a mental note to challenge it the next time it happens. You‘ll be surprised how good it feels to speak up for yourself. 

You’re here to FEEL GOOD. I’m spiritual, but I am not a saint. I’m a woman in a woman’s body, and I have needs. And I am now ready to tell everyone in my life what they are… For the menfolk, you too have needs. Speak your truth. Ask for what you need. You’ll FEEL BETTER.

The more you know about yourself, the more you can share your BEST self with the world. And heal those blind spots. The more awareness you bring to your boundaries, the more you will hold them. The more you hold your boundaries, the happier you will be! Because you owe it to yourself. Love you more than the need for a relationship. Love you more than the need to keep the peace at a price that’s costing you more than what’s it worth. Love you more so that you are building your self-esteem. Take good care of you. Always settle for MORE! Be true to who you are. Because love is not enough. If that love isn’t loving you.

Cheers to LOVING YOU!

Love,

Kelley

XX

PS.

If you’d like to order a relationship report click here:

 

 

 

 

 

are you ready for love?

The holidays are fast approaching. I’m hearing Christmas songs and seeing black Friday ads. My email is being flooded with sales for Thanksgiving tableware. Recipes for tasty new side dishes are everywhere. What’s not to love, right? 

Well, for some, there’s a lot not to love.  

The holidays often represent disappointment. It’s another trip around the sun where you didn’t find your soulmate. There will be questions from family about when you’ll be bringing someone home. There will holiday parties to attend solo. After a wonderful celebration, you come home to a house that may feel empty.  

Well, as alone as you may FEEL. I promise you that you are NOT ALONE! In fact, the word alone means All~One. In truth, we have all been there at some point in our life. I’ve certainly been there myself. Know that you are loved and appreciated. Know that you’ve got a cheering section bigger than you know. And, that everyone wants to see you happy and prosperous – especially finding love!

Let’s be real. I’m not talking about the Hallmark card love. I’m talking about the stability of having a life partner. You may feel that you’ve exhausted your efforts trying to find someone. You might even think a soulmate doesn’t exist for you. They do! 

I genuinely believe that we all have soulmates out there just waiting to be found. The question is…are you ready? Ask yourself these questions:

  • Do you hate any of your exes?
  • Do you still get mad or sad about a breakup?
  • Are you jealous of an ex’s new partner?
  • Do you have trouble being truly happy for any exes’ successes since you’ve split?

Did you answer yes to any of those questions? Then, you have more work to do. 

Here’s what I want for you to do. For any relationship you’re still dealing with:

  • Write down three GOOD things that came out of it.
  • Write down three ways you have become a better person because of the relationship…or even because of the breakup.
  • Write down three reasons why YOU ARE OK alone.

Once you have your list, you’ll want to read through it every night. Next, picture what type of soulmate you want. Don’t focus on physical traits. Focus on mental and spiritual qualities. Focus on kindness, patience, and energy level.  

Remember the Law of Attraction! You create your own life! So why not start by creating the life you want in your head. Focus on it. Feel how you want your life to be. And please, KNOW that you deserve it! Because you do! Think about how your life will change and for the better. And I promise you IT WILL! It may not be tomorrow. It may not be before the holidays. 

Before you know it, though, you will have brought precisely the kind of energy into your life that you BELIEVE you deserve. It comes down to what you are ready to receive. And are you good at receiving? 

I have an amazing new report called the Kindred Spirits Report. This report provides an in-depth insight into your relationship patterns. And offers insights into how to meet your needs in intimate unions.  Remember the biggest relationship your having is with yourself. Are you kind and generous with you? Be your own best friend. Be your own soul mate.  Give to you the love that you want from another. When you do this, you are aligning yourself with one who can give you the LOVE that you deserve.

Once you’ve found a potential match. Consider getting a Synastry Relationship Report. This report compares your astrology with your partner’s. It will show you where you’re best aligned. And where you may have some challenges one day. There’s no better way to guide your relationship through the bumpy road of life. 

“Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It’s splendid to find out that there are so many of them in the world.” 
– L M Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

All My Love,

Kelley
XOXO

PS.  

Here’s the link to get my new Synastry Relationship Report.

Or, my Kindred Spirits Report.

What is spooking you?

Since today is Halloween, I thought it would be fun to talk about ghosts. I love horror movies – including ghost stories. I’m not into the slasher-type horror flicks.  But I do like the psychological ones that feel real – like they could actually happen.  

As much as I love a ghost story, though, I do not like ghosts. You see, I’m not talking about the kind that slams doors or hovers over your bed at night. I’m talking about the ones you carry with you day in and day out. They haunt your every thought, your every decision. They leave you sleepless at night. They wreak havoc on your relationships, your job, your self-esteem. They turn your whole life upside down! 

We all have them. Ghosts live inside of you. Ghosts whisper to us and tell us that we’re not good enough. Maybe your ghost is an abusive ex that you still hear in your head. He or she is calling you a failure every time you make a choice. Or, maybe it’s a parent that was too hard on you as a child. You can still hear them telling you that you’re too this or too that. Or that you are just not good enough.   

Ghosts whittle away at your self-esteem by buzzing in your mind with negative thoughts.  

Here’s the thing, though. These ghosts are imaginary. They live in your head! Their sole purpose is to sabotage you. This is good news. It means it is possible to banish them!  

To banish them, though, you need to fully understand WHY these ghosts have hung around.  

I’m going to tell you why right now: 

As bad as it may be, the familiar can be more comfortable than the unknown.  

That voice in your head telling you that you’re a failure? Well, you know what failure looks like, right? But what does happiness look like? Happiness (or success, or true love, etc.) is brand new. And I bet it’s a little scary, right? 

In my Academy, in every course I teach, I include a section about how to clear your money blocks. Money blocks are those things that keep you from earning what you know you deserve. They’re just like ghosts. 

Find the source of your ghost, understand what it’s doing for you, and you can beat it. I promise. Who are you not live your full potential? Why would Creator send you here to live small and hide your light? God wants for you to live the abundant life. In this way, you can do more for the world. This is good. 

Now, since it is Halloween, go have one last hurrah with those old ghosts! Spend a little time with them and examine why they’re lingering in your life. Then it’s time to start fresh and banish them from your mind. 

Your homework is for every negative thought your ghost says to you, you will replace with two positives about you. They can be anything. For instance, you are kind. You are a good listener. See where I am going with this assignment? 

Now, what are two things you like about you? 

Love,

Kelley
XX